Time To Change. Stamp out Stigma!

Mental illness and the stigma associated has been looked at head on this week, during Channel Fours 4GoesMad programming, http://4goesmad.channel4.com/, headlined by Ruby Wax of Black Dog Tribe http://www.blackdogtribe.com/

I have signed a pledge on the Time To Change website www.time-to-change.org.uk to be more open and honest about my chronic poor mental health in its various disguises of Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and Social Phobia.
As I was thinking about this I wondered what that would entail. I thought I was quite open about my mental health. But I have come to realise I have been dodging this issue by omission, by that I mean, not telling the whole truth.

We all do it. How many of us, when asked how we are say, "I'm fine". "I'm fine" is not always an honest answer. Obviously there are many times and many people who are not really looking for the honest answer or people we would not want to share the honest response. But to those closest to us, who, maybe do, want an honest answer, do we just brush them off?

I was chatting with @stephintoronto on Twitter about depression yesterday and she said this;
"when u don't have a Chronic/Mental Illness u don't have to will the energy to just brush your teeth"

If you have experienced depression you know exactly what she's talking about. And therein lies the problem. Who wants to be that honest! Who wants to list the blow by blow, hour by hour account of how difficult it is to be alive sometimes, and, who wants to listen to that?

Obviously we need to find a middle ground. I definitely haven't discovered that yet, but am working on it.

In my depression I tend to withdraw completely. I refer to it as going AWOL. The problem is I don't even do it consciously. I can go weeks at a time and not talk to anyone except those that I live with. When I emerge from my solitude I rarely talk about what happened and how I got through it.

When I received my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder the Psychiatrist invited those closest to me to attend a family session to discuss and answer questions about my mental health, and the then, new diagnosis. It was a very important and influential meeting. What came from it loud and clear was that my hibernating behaviour or strategy was confusing and even hurtful to my nearest and dearest. What my family wanted from me, more than anything else, was for me to be open and honest about my struggles.
Over the years, my dishonesty by omission has caused strife, because no one understood each other. My family had to learn about my condition and I had to learn to be less closed off. This has involved a compromise.
Due to my social phobia I dislike using the phone, and on difficult days I simply can't call so I would tend to only correspond via text. My loved ones understandably don't like communicating only via text so I have been writing weekly emails. This has been a big step for me. I'm trying to be more open, articulating exactly how my week has been and they have been gracious enough to give me the space I need.
This has made a huge positive impact on our relationship. My family have a better understanding of my condition and are no longer completely bewildered by my BPD behaviour and I feel better understood and supported.
The best result is that they all say; "we better understand, and now we can help you more appropriately". Better understanding is never going to be a bad thing. Better understanding is always going to bring people together, and hopefully bring, with it, more compassion.

I would encourage you to "Step Out", be a little more open and honest about your day to day, share the good the bad and everything in between. Do it in a way that is comfortable and safe for you, but do it none the less. You deserved to be heard and have your struggles validated. Take the risk and share with whom ever you feel safest.

If we were all a little more open and honest I feel sure we can Stamp Out Stigma!

Make your pledge and help to end mental health discrimination today!
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

Thank You For Reading.
Clare.