The Guest House Of Acceptence

Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance are two of the key elements of DBT.
It is described beautifully in this poem by Jelaluddin Rumi, a 13th-century Sufi poet.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
-- Jelaluddin Rumi,

I first heard this poem while being taught the practice of Mindfulness. My teacher is an amazing woman who teaches the delicate art of being compassionate to oneself.

It is human nature to want to dismiss negative emotions and feelings, the thought of embracing them seems alien and counterproductive. Surely, I surmised, embracing difficult emotions, compulsion or urges would make them more powerful somehow and make me feel worse. But, in my practise of mindfulness I have discovered the very opposite to be true.

When we gently bring awareness and compassion to a current feeling emotion or hurt we are inviting ourselves to "look after" or "care for" ourselves. The key here is to be tender, gentle and ultimately accepting of this very moment. Not concerning ourselves with what was, or what will be, but this very second. After all the emotion is already here, our striving to ignore that fact serves only to add to the pain, discomfort or confusion.
The feeling is here, accept it with a gentle care.

When I practise this, I literally, name every emotion I am experiencing.
I ask myself..."What is here right now"?
Then follow with naming them individually.
"Anxiety is here."
"Sadness is here"
"Depression is here"

When we invite these moment by moment labelling of emotions with gentleness and compassion we open our "Guest House" to all, accepting what is here
and giving ourselves the opportunity to heal. In my experience denial only prolongs the anguish.

What is "here" for you today?
Label it."Here is..."
Be gentle, caring and compassionate for the self that is here right now.

Thank you for reading.
Clare.