The Inner Critic

At Dilectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) this week we examined the "Inner Critic".
We all have one of those don't we? Some maybe more familiar with theirs then others.
The inner critic is the voice of our "core beliefs". A core belief can obviously be both positive and negative. The inner critic however tends to shout about the negative aspects of those beliefs. They might sound something like this;
"I'm useless"
"I'm doing it all wrong"
"I'm a failure"
"I'm un lovable".

We each have our own brand of Inner Critic thinking. It tends to be tormenting and very powerful, which has the effect of wearing you down bringing about self doubt and exhaustion.
Together we looked at ways of challenging the Inner Critics narrative. The first and maybe most obvious is to reject its wrath with a firm "NO" or "Not True"!
The tutor called this a "Howitzer"
(The Howitzer is a piece of artillery a type of cannon. The etymology originates from the Czech word houfnice the suffix houf means "crowd" suggesting the cannons use against massed enemies.)
We have been given the challenge of countering the Inner Critic attacks with heavy duty Howitzers.

Its interesting to observe ones inner commentary.
How we talk to ourselves is very important.
Is it said with; Criticism or praise,
Judgment or acceptance,
Intolerance or patience,
Bullying or compassion,
Hate or love,
Nagging or encouragement? Etc...
Another way of challenging the inner critic is to count its cost. For me the inner critic has stopped me from having a career, stifled relationships and brought about a lot of pain.

Finally affirmations can be a powerful antidote to the inner critic.
Such as; "I have not failed",
"I am not to blame",
"I can tolerate my emotions",
"Its OK to feel this way",
"I have a future",
"I'm doing my best".

How we talk to ourselves can be so important.
I often feel like if I could just get out of my own way life would be easier.
Its no secret that my thoughts have held me captive and tormented me for too long. But, I do believe this is one of those topics that we can all relate to, whether you have experiences of mental illness or not. I get the impression that a lot of people could benefit from a little self compassion and a giant counter Howitzer!

Thank you for reading,
Until next time,
Clare.